The more you train your brain to pay attention to distractions, the more you get distracted and the less able you are to even focus for brief periods of time on the two or three things you were trying to get done in your ‘multi-tasking’ in the first place. The ones that didn’t look over and see the lion coming to eat them are NOT our ancestors. We expect more from technology and less from each other”. At the heart of manners is a consideration of others. How many times, guys, have you been barked at by your wife because instead of giving full attention to what she was saying, you were looking at your phone. “There is something more important than you and it’s not here in this room.” The second thing I think we’re losing is creativity and insight. Our mind wanders but it’s not constantly being bombarded with new information (at least until we can take our phones in the shower which I’m sure is being worked on…). Time for our minds to make subtle connections and insights. Simply put, at the heart of creativity, insight, imagination and humaneness is an ability to pay attention to ANYTHING – our ideas, our line of thinking, each other. So, hopefully, by this point I’ve convinced you of a few things No, I think the solution is to balance the DISTRACTING brain training you’re doing every single day with training that strengthens long-form ATTENTION. For some that means leaving the phone and going for a 15 minute walk. The primary insight of the Slow Tech folks is quite interesting. An ability to make real human connection by not signaling that there might be something better on his smartphone to look at.The ones that did look, only to see it was a harmless bird, are. The second reason is something casinos have known for a long time. Think about your own examples when you felt at your most creative or your best performance. Once people experience the zone, most of us want to get back there. We want to OVERCOME OUR FEAR OF BOREDOM, OUR ANXIETY OF BEING UNSTIMULATED recognize the value of gap time and not have anxiety about it. From sunup Sunday to when I put the kids to bed I do no phone, no email, no TV, no radio. They note that the primary way we’ve used technology over the last 50 years has been in the workplace. An ability to pay attention to a problem for a long time.
I feel a constant need to pull it out – to check email, to text, to see if there is something interesting happening RIGHT NOW. [show the 2 slides on ‘phone addiction’ and ‘35% look before getting out of bed’]. Look at how internet access has changed since smart phones came into being (and this data is a year old, so I’m certain it’s even more in this direction).
Be patient, and try different times and places until you figure it out. No more knock-knock jokes or bad made-up jokes that never seem to come to a conclusion. There’s hardly anything like the bond of a good laugh with my boys. They’ll get insecure and do stupid things because of it. You are their greatest resource they have, and they need your direction. ) The world will yell and scream all kinds of negatives to your son. You will never regret making sacrifices or adjustments so that you can be present for your children when they need you.
When one of my boys come out laughing and want me to watch a funny Vine or You Tube Video, I drop everything for it. They are going to mess up so much you’ll wonder where you went wrong. Consequences may be in order, but so is a whole lot of grace. Keep it relevant, and as brief as possible, but when you see them facing forks in the road, go ahead and speak some good solid words of advice to them. And the thing with parenting is–you’re never really sure when they’ll need you. I should add here that my husband and I are Christians, and our faith is woven into every item I listed above.
Much Aloha, Monica Books you might enjoy: Bringing Up Boys The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers New Edition: The Secret to Loving Teens Effectively PS TWO POST-Publish things: 1.
I did not talk about Dads much in this post simply because I was writing this one for the moms.